p i f f

...on my way back to jersey. I'm at some funeral or a reception for a funeral. Pictures everywhere, i guess one of my uncles died. I can't figure out which one. Something sexual comes up in conversation, my father gets angry, he doesn't want me to hear the topic or be near it. He argues with someone and walks out. I don't even know what the "sexual story" was about. Then we are at a party. My father's dancing, cracking up laughing talking about how he's on xanax. He has sunglasses on.

I'm leaving jersey on a plane. I hate being on planes, i start to panick. I look next to me and his mom is there. She's sees me, calls me by my first name and asks me what's wrong. I tell her my fear on flying and she tells me to calm down, it'll be ok. We keep traveling, further and further but not flying and finally we're on a plane and ready for take off. I tell her this is the worst part, she sympathizes with me. We take off as she is still sitting next to me. We land and there are children there, we go outside and it's beautiful. Like we're in the middle of a meadow or some shit. I look and there is a group of men all talking and laughing, smiling even.. and he is there. He speaks my name loudly and i come over to him, kind of unsure as what his intentions are. He grabs me and hugs me and i'm smiling with him. I turn to look behind me and everyone's gone, and it's just me and him..finally.

wonderful dreams that come to me in my sleep.